Sunday, August 2, 2009

Some Final TdF Thoughts

It's been a week now, and I'm almost over TdF withdrawal. Cycling fans the world over know what it's like: You get up early in the morning, turn on Versus, and find yourself watching "The Camo Life." Where's Phil? Where's Paul? Where's Bob? Heck, I'd even take Craig over this fat doofus with a composite bow.

Sigh. Only three more weeks to the coverage of the Tour of Ireland.

Of course, this does give you a better idea of why pick-up trucks seem to come just a little bit closer to our elbows when we ride in July. For three weeks, they've been turning on their TV in the morning hoping to see "The Bucks of Tecomate," and instead they get a buncha skinny foreign fairies in spandex. Where's my Camo Life?!

Their baser needs un-sated, they then hoist their girthy selves into the cab of their F-250 to head over the job site. In this state of mind, is it any wonder they don't remain mindful of the Three-Foot Law when they see the lone cyclist on Carter's Creek Pike?

Separated at Birth?

We were watching Alberto Contador's time trial on stage 18 when the RandoWife noticed a similarity.

Contador ...

And Zorak, the evil alien from Space Ghost ...

You decide.

Back in Black

Did you notice that Versus started showing where everyone was in relation to the day's break based on jersey? The captions at the bottom were something like "Break" and "Peleton," and they would show who was in which based on the current jersey wearer. If the yellow jersey was in the break, a little picture of a yellow jersey displayed, and so forth.

This was cool, but then they started to show a little Astana jersey to indicate where Lance was.

C'mon. Really? Isn't that being a little overt in trying to make this the Tour de Lance?

However, it got me thinking. If they're gonna have a white jersey for the best young rider (under 26), then why not a black jersey for the best old rider (over 36)? I've bounced this idea off a few folks, and we all like it. Of course, we're all old farts, so the idea naturally appeals to us. But, then, that seems to be the buying demographic of Versus.

If you like the thought of a black jersey, comment below. If I get enough folks interested, I may put together a petition and send it to the UCI or ASO. Maybe we can even get Bernard Hinault and Greg LeMond back out there for one more try. If nothing else, when LeMond gets up on stage and starts rambling about how everyone but him is doping, and the Badger jumps up and tries to push him into the audience, it should mollify the Versus viewers missing their morning fix of Ultimate Cage Fighting.



  1. Contador and Zorak - uncanny resemblence! Perhaps part of a sinister alien plot to take over the world by dominating our sports. On second thought, based on number of viewers alone, they would have avoided cycling and gone straight to baseball/football (US)and soccer (rest of the world).

    It was refreshing, however, to see commercials (unfortunately, one after another) trying to make men feel inadequate (male enhancement) as opposed to all the commercials on regular TV that seem to focus on making women feel inadequate (weight loss, homemaking, Victoria's secret, etc., etc.).

  2. Maybe that's part of the alien plot. Make all of us old people (like Lance) feel weak, then question our manhood when we can't perform like Smiling Bob.

    That Zorak is insidious.