Last night, Max Watzz apparently took over my psyche again, and I awoke to find myself doing two hours of "Tempo" pace riding on something called a "trainer." My bike was somehow locked into this hellish contraption, and the bike itself was all messed up. The wheels didn't have enough spokes, and the handlebar bag was gone, and ... ugh ... getting sleepy ... so sleepy.
Max here. Had to shut that moron up, since he has no clue as to what it takes to become the magnificence that is me. Me, me, me, me ... oh, how I love that word.
Anyway, I've managed to convert one of RandoBoy's bikes -- a Bianchi S9 Matta racing bike that he obviously never deserved in the first place -- into a vehicle upon which my incredibly powerful buttocks may rest. Well, maybe "resting" isn't the right word, since I never "rest" on a bike, but am always putting forth inhuman levels of thrust against the pedals.
I am magnificent.
The Bianchi now has a PowerTap, so that I can monitor the "watts" (a measure of power named for me) that my glorious quadriceps are capable of producing. Although it is hard to believe, by training at specific wattage output I may be able to actually become STRONGER. The heavens tremble ...
The best way for me to train with power is either outside on a flat course or with the bike on a trainer. Since I cannot seem to control the weak but wily RandoBoy for long enough to sell his house and move to Florida, I must use the trainer approach during these cold months. Last night I was doing two hours of Tempo, which for me means averaging 280 watts with a cadence of 95. Normally, this puts my heart rate at 145, so my lactic acid threshold ... no ... stop ... there's more things about me that I want to say ...
Damn, but he is persistent.
Anyway, my point (and it no doubt surprises you that I really have one) is that I began to play the "Would you rather ..." game with cycling-specific stuff. Such as ...
- "Would you rather ride two hours on a trainer indoors as hard as you can, or four hours outside in 15 degrees Fahrenheit?"
- "Would you rather have a saddle sore that won't let you sit down for a week, or numb hands for a month? (This is a very randonneuring-specific question -- if you've never done a 1200K, you can only imagine.)
- "Would you rather climb a seven-mile hill averaging 12% or ride 20 miles south on a flat road against a 30-mph wind?"
- "Would you rather fix a flat on a busy road during an ice storm or fix a broken chain on a warm sunny day?"
- "Would you rather, on a 60-mile ride on a really hot day, work harder than you comfortably can to stay with a group or fall off the back and take another hour and a half to finish?"
- "Would you rather, on a rainy and windy day, sit in and get a face full of road spray or get out front and pull?"
I like it!
ReplyDeleteWould you rather (30 miles from the finish of the spring 400K):
A. Eat the last cold, stale, pizza pocket in the not-so-hot case at the convenience store gas staton, or;
B. Fall back to the dregs of that bottle of 'natural' flavored Sustained Energy you didn't finish at noon, along with the half eaten Clif bar that has been rattling around in the bottom of your H-bar bag since you rode that spring Populaire two months
Yr Pal, Dr C
I am SO glad you said this! I love the gustatorial decisions that only manifest on rides over 150 miles long!
ReplyDeleteWould you rather fiddle faddle along, stop 10 miles out before the finish and drink beer, or rush to the finish to get a good spot for your tent and a shower while there's still hot water? (RAGBRAI thing, you might not understand.)
ReplyDeleteTo Pat C: We did BRAG (the Georgia version of RAGBRAI, so we understand completely.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my point (and it no doubt surprises you that I really have one) is that I began to play the "Would you rather ..." game with cycling-specific stuff. Such as ...
ReplyDelete* "Would you rather ride two hours on a trainer indoors as hard as you can, or four hours outside in 15 degrees Fahrenheit?"
Four hours outside, and I've got the frostbite damage to prove it. I own three trainers, none of which get any use. I used to use my rollers back when I still had a television and VCR.
* "Would you rather have a saddle sore that won't let you sit down for a week, or numb hands for a month? (This is a very randonneuring-specific question -- if you've never done a 1200K, you can only imagine.)
Ooh, a tough question? As a matter of reality, the numb hands are more likely for me. The one physical DNF I had was on a 1000K on a stupid saddle, and it was caused by a combination of heat exhaustion and saddle soreness. After the ice bath, the cold IV, and a day of no exertion, I could have gone on, but didn't due to the brutal battering my sit-bones took on that 135g saddle. But I've ridden with cyclist's palsy more than once.
* "Would you rather climb a seven-mile hill averaging 12% or ride 20 miles south on a flat road against a 30-mph wind?"
Up the Hill! Twice!
* "Would you rather fix a flat on a busy road during an ice storm or fix a broken chain on a warm sunny day?"
Well, I don't carry a chain tool, so the flat wins that one (and I have changed flats on busy roads in sleet).
* "Would you rather, on a 60-mile ride on a really hot day, work harder than you comfortably can to stay with a group or fall off the back and take another hour and a half to finish?"
I usually do both, in order, but I'm pretty motivated to stay with the group until I'm suddenly not motivated at all (this latter state is ordinarily accompanied by purple spots in my vision).
* "Would you rather, on a rainy and windy day, sit in and get a face full of road spray or get out front and pull?"
I'd rather sit in on the flats, of course (see above). Actually, I'd rather the paceline rotate properly so that we all get an opportunity to discover the joys of having full fenders on one's rain/rando bike.
Would you rather (30 miles from the finish of the spring 400K):
A. Eat the last cold, stale, pizza pocket in the not-so-hot case at the convenience store gas staton, or;
B. Fall back to the dregs of that bottle of 'natural' flavored Sustained Energy you didn't finish at noon, along with the half eaten Clif bar that has been rattling around in the bottom of your H-bar bag since you rode that spring Populaire two months
Yes!
Cheers,
Will
William M. deRosset