Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Who is Rando Boy?

Rando Boy is a less-than-heroic, not-so-super, super-hero. He does not fight crime, or even malfeasance. He is a foe of rudeness and lack of manners, and usually avoids littering. He likes Truth when it meets his ends, which it usually does because he is not smart enough to keep any kind of lie going. He thinks Justice is good, but still runs the occasional stop sign and red light rather than unclip, and knows that justice is an ultimate thing that we probably won't really see in this lifetime. And he is not sure exactly what the American Way is, but if it's the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence those are pretty good.

Rando Boy came to be when a turkey vulture, exposed to cosmic rays, ate a muskrat that had been genetically altered by aliens from another dimension, then captured by a pseudo-military organization, given a secret serum, and exposed to gamma rays. The turkey vulture went on to live a normal life in central Georgia, unlike Rando Boy who just likes riding bicycles long distances. First it was the occasional club century. Then he started going out and riding centuries on his own ... "just for fun." (You can only understand this if you've ever thought that spending over six hours on a bicycle riding through the country might be "fun.")

It was at this point, primed for pain, that Rando Boy met a group of like-minded fools in Nashville, Tennessee. They called themselves "ultra-cyclists," which is a pairing of words akin to "criminally insane," "death-defying acrobats," and "uber-geek." First it was a ride across the state ... 150 miles on a fine fall day. Then it was 200-, 300-, 400-, and even 600-kilometer rides, where you follow cryptic ride directions through the middle of the night, in the rain and lightning and hail, keeping the pedals turning (albeit slowly) trying to find just how far you can go without sleep.

Now Rando Boy lies poised on the cusp of his greatest adventure: The Rocky Mountain 1200K. It is over 750 miles of cycling, in 90 hours or less, through the Canadian wilderness around Kamloops, Golden, and Jasper. It will be Rando Boy's first -- and possibly last -- 1200K, which is the "ultimate" ride for most ultra-cyclists (with the exception of the folks that do RAAM, who are really certifiably nutso). It is for this ride that he, in the guise of mild-mannered Robert Hendry, began this blog, so that he might capture all of the beauty, joy, and heartache that will accompany this grand expedition, and share it with family and friends ... whether they want to hear about it or not.


  1. Hector St. Cheesedick,
    I pray for your nuts and ass on such a long journey.I would also pray for your mind but I know that would be a waste of time that would be better spent doing intervals at max heart rate. May the Greek God of cheese shine on you throughout your journey and comfort you with memories of easy rides with your pal McCoil!

  2. McCoil, though art a flatlander, true, but you can climb like Chuck Yeagar. You've never known the joy of a saddle-sore, for you live a charmed existence. All hail the McCoil!

  3. roberto ... i knew you when, man ... ur mah hero ... i'm still gonna catch you off guard sometimes in tim's office or wharever ... i'm gunnin' fer ya, dude ... (i ain't bout to ride no 1200k ... i can barely exceed my daily commute via cannondale to the office, much less tackle yer kinda macho ride across the beautiful lake louise terrain, with shimmerin' mtn reflections, etc., that you posted on yer pix link ... i doth envy them, but don't feereth lee ... the beas